Muggle Culture 101
by The Blasphemous Contessa
Summary: Professor McGonagall takes an innovative approach to Muggle Studies. postDH preEpilogue


**a/n: this is just a teeny tiny ficlet while I try to figure out what should happen next in Balance Beam. This takes place between the last chapter and epilogue of DH so there's no familiar characters. Not mine, not very good.**

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**Dream Job**

Jade Young looked around her spacious new office a grin on her face a mile wide. If as little as a week ago someone had told her that she would be teaching at the best magical school in the world she would have laughed and scoffed. Mostly because Jade had no magic. She had heard of Hogwarts through her younger sister Azul who was a muggle born Ravenclaw fifth year, but never dreamed she would be brought into that world. As far as sisters went Jade and Azul had very little in common, they were born six years apart and while close enough as people go had different tastes in everything. One of the reasons Jade had taken the post was to learn more about her sister's life so they could grow to be friends.

Two days before the start of term Professor McGonagall the Headmistress at Hogwarts sent her a letter asking if she was willing to be the new Muggle Studies teacher for the year. No one had taken the post and as a muggle with connection to the wizarding world she was the perfect candidate for the job if she would only send a reply with the owl. Slightly bemused Jade sent her affirmative and began to plan her lessons for the coming year. She doubted she would teach her sister who was raised by muggles and certainly didn't need any help understanding them, but just being in the same building meant she was likely to run into the girl, wasn't she?

Jade unpacked her boxes and organized her classroom alone without magic, she had asked the Headmistress to create a bubble in her classroom that was free from magical interference and allowed muggle appliances to work. In the corner behind her desk a medium sized television set hung from the ceiling while in the opposite corner was a computer terminal with Internet access. On the wall opposite the windows she had a large bookcase filled with muggle novels covering all subjects an genres, a few works of non-fiction rested at the end of the second shelf as reference material. She also had a DVD player and a few movies on a shelf beneath the television, some movies showed a muggle perspective of magic but most were children's stories or action films all PG-13 and below. The desks were arranged in a traditional classroom style and Jade was certain she would be able to hold her students' attention with her assortment of music players and hand held video games.

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It was the morning of Jade's first class and she was ready. The first group of the day would be Gryffindor and Hufflepuff fourth years. She had a sign up sheet posted on the blackboard and a smile on her face when her students trickled in from breakfast. When the fourteen-year-olds entered the classroom they saw the last thing they expected to see in Hogwarts. A young woman wearing jeans, a tee-shirt, and sensible shoes with her hair pulled back in a messy pony-tail was leaning over the teacher's desk double checking a list while making notes on the board. As the time for class to begin neared the woman turned around and smiled at the group.

"Hello students. I'm your new professor, you may call me Miss Young." She had very pretty eyes and dark skin as well as a very kind smile. "This is my first year at Hogwarts, I never attended a wizarding school but your Headmistress felt I was perfect to teach you this subject. Please put away your wands and books, I'm a very hands on person and I don't wish to bore you. You may take notes if you feel it is important but I'm sure this will be very easy for you all to remember." Miss Young talked very quickly as though nervous and she probably was in front of all these people.

She motioned to the sheet of ordinary notebook paper on the board. "Every month I expect you all to write a short book report on one of the many pieces of muggle liturature I have available for you to choose from. As these are from my personal collection I would like to know who has a copy of what and also to ensure that everyone does their own work." There was a slight groan but it wasn't nearly as audible as it would have been if she had stuck with her original plan of a report every week.

"Now today I am going to show a film. It is a little girly but perfect for the theme I am covering this week. This course will be more about the muggle culture than the mechanics of 'what' muggles do." With that she turned and pushed play on the television. For this class she chose an American movie called _The Boondock Saints_ believing it would be greater appreciated than _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_. "I want you to remember as you watch this movie that the events follow a very unlikely pattern of events and are highly exaggerated, this is by no means how most muggles live their lives and is a rather romanticised version of vigilantism." She would save an explanation of what everything was and is until after her group had warmed up to her a little. At first she had worried about the violence depicted but then remembered most probably heard worse true stories of the war that had only ended ten years ago.

Nearly two hours later, it was a double period, she turned off the television and faced a sea of awestruck faces. "Okay are there any concepts you didn't understand, devices that you've never seen before or any other questions about the film and movie making in general?" A plethora of hands rose into the air, a few timidly, and she answered the questions as best she could feeling that maybe teaching this course wouldn't be so bad after all. When it came time to dismiss the class she informed them almost excitedly, "Next lesson will be over the Internet and don't forget to choose your novel early, procrastination will not help considering all the work I'm sure you'll be assigned soon." She smiled and waved the class out before collapsing into her large chair relieved that her first class had gone well.

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**Well there you have it. Just an idea I had about a muggle teaching muggle studies that I wanted to play around with. Don't forget to review.**

**Sami**


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